Dream Interpretation

Some dreams are rather easy to interpret.

Try your hand at this one...

I dreamt that my athletic club decided to kill members who either weren't coming or weren't meeting their fitness goals. They led them into a field and executed them by firing squad. Why? Because these members were making the club look bad.

It doesn't take much to figure out that the dream is telling me to get my ass back to the gym!

The Black Hole

Yes, I'm talking about the internet.

Sometimes I wonder if it has really made life any easier. Why? Settle in for a spell and learn about my magical jouney down the yellow toner road.

First, I had to sign onto my credit card's website. After locating the link (which was moved. again.) I had to sign onto the rewards site. I then had to locate my items among the thousands of retailers on said rewards site. Finally, I selected a random cheap retailer, was transferred to their site, found my products, set up an account (good thing I have a book to keep all my accounts and passwords organized! I've heard that there are online services that can do that for you, but what if I forgot that password?) 45 minutes into my task I had finally ordered 4 boxes of toner, 1 in each color. 45 minutes of my life, gone.

Damn!

Now my shoulders are stiff, my right foot is asleep, I have to pee and I've suffered through 3 really bad dog farts as he sleeps (which is also why my right foot is asleep, he is on it).

Hopefully it will be another year before I run out of toner, but the next time it happens I'm going to bite the bullet, get in the car and venture off to Walmart, Office Max or some other chain store so I can be rewarded with blank stares from high school floor workers who end up telling me that they're sold out of my toner and suggesting I order from their website.

Tarantula

Another poem, inspired by a tarantula that crossed my path during a recent hike. One Native American interpretation of a Tarantula's symbolism is "Grandmother"...


Tarantula

Grandmother Spider appears
And speaks to my heart
“Take care of yourself
And keep up your art.”

“Ok, I will,”
I promise her spirit.
But something distracts me
That sound, did you hear it?

I forgot to write it down,
The idea that I had.
The one that was golden
And now I am mad.

But, laundry is full
And beds are unmade.
I’ll remember it soon
When I rest in the shade.

Where’d the time go?
It’s already tonight.
The clock hands are spinning
And nothing is right.

A new day has come,
What was I thinking?
Yesterday’s idea but
A ship that is sinking.

The dishes are dirty
The dog needs to eat.
The kids are out playing
I make the house neat.

Another day gone
And another one yet
Another, another
How many do I get?

What was that idea?
The one that was gold?
I can’t recall it now
I guess I’m getting old.

One day I can’t move
In a box in the ground
Too busy to breathe
There is no more sound.

Common Sense

Random thought...

Why do they call it "common sense", when it really isn't all that common?

Why Do Things Have To Change?

When something works well, why is it human nature to go and change it (then complain that it doesn't work well anymore). Are we just looking for something to complain about?

I used to looove McDonald's chocolate milkshakes when I was younger. They used to have little icy chunks of goodness in them, and they tasted like dairy Heaven. But, about 15 years ago they changed the recipe, God knows why, and now they make them with something that coats your tongue like a layer of lacquer paint. It's gross. I've seen them poured out on parking lot asphalt and they still look like a "milkshake". They keep the consistency. Why? What have they added to make this pseudo dairy impersonator - plastic?

In the 15 or so years since they changed my beloved shake recipe, I have moved on to Dairy Queen's version. It's edible and I can count on it tasting the same no matter what Dairy Queen I go to.

But, I really miss my McDonald's shakes, even 15 years later. Wendy's better never change their Frosty recipe!