Top 10 signs the horror movie you just rented is going to be stupid (in no particular order):
1. It has a washed up actor/actress in it. (Christian Slater should be a red flag!)
2. It has an overly fancy cover, sometimes with metallic accents.
3. It came out of Hollywood in the past 5 years.
4. You’ve never heard of it.
5. It has a pentagram on the cover.
6. The title is in a digital font.
7. There are no review quotes or “star ratings” on the cover.
8. The blood is bright, bright red, and there is a buttload of it.
9. There is a car chase, slow motion fist fight or machine gun firing frenzy in the first 5 minutes (or all three!), with accompanying techno music.
10. You rented it from the library because it was free.