Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Oh, the HORROR!

Top 10 signs the horror movie you just rented is going to be stupid (in no particular order):

1. It has a washed up actor/actress in it. (Christian Slater should be a red flag!)

2. It has an overly fancy cover, sometimes with metallic accents.

3. It came out of Hollywood in the past 5 years.

4. You’ve never heard of it.

5. It has a pentagram on the cover.

6. The title is in a digital font.

7. There are no review quotes or “star ratings” on the cover.

8. The blood is bright, bright red, and there is a buttload of it.

9. There is a car chase, slow motion fist fight or machine gun firing frenzy in the first 5 minutes (or all three!), with accompanying techno music.

10. You rented it from the library because it was free.

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