Sunday, September 6, 2009

A list, the first of many...

People that freak me the hell out...

1.People that ask me if I had my son circumcised, and when they find out the answer, they ask if my husband is circumcised. How is it that either one of those questions anyone’s business but ours? That completely freaks me the hell out.

2. People that take “stay-cations”. Ok, I know the economy is bad, bla bla, but I’m talking about people that can afford a vacation but would still rather stay at home. Bizarre! I have actually known people who have cut vacations short to come home a few days early. WTF is up with that? They would rather come home and do all their laundry than lay on a beach for a few more days? This does not compute with me and it freaks me the hell out.

3.People who have never gone through any bad shit, but act like they know how it feels. Well, they can shut their pie holes and get back to me after they have some life experience because I’m not listening to any of their advice until that happens, no matter how well meaning they are. Just because you know someone who went through something, or you saw Oprah talk about, doesn’t make you an expert and you freak me the hell out.

4.People who are obsessed with name brands. Holy crap, nothing makes less sense to me than this! These are the same people that could spend 3 hours in a store and not come home with anything. Shopping with these people is complete torture for me! I could be writing, reading, hiking, or any thing else under the sun that would add more richness to my life than wasting 3 hours in a store looking for a white damn t-shirt. Go to Target, buy a white t-shirt! 10 minutes. Done. Holy crap, these people freak me the hell out!

5.People that watch life from the sidelines. These are the same people who are “amused” by art that they don’t understand. In their own minds they are judging the artist to be some kind of freak, just because they don’t fit into their definition of what an artist should be. Screw them and their definitions, and their narrow minded lives. Go back to your fashionable lattes, lifeless department stores, and TV talk show therapy. You freak me the hell out.

6.People that collect Thomas Kinkade shit. A picture with the matching placemats and switchplate cover to go with it!?! OMG, it freaks me the hell out!

7.People that buy art to match their sofa. See above.

8.People that don’t go camping! These are the same people that can’t sit at home with the TV off for a day without going crazy. I don’t understand these people. Are they so uncomfortable with their own selves that a day in quiet contemplation is so foreign to them? Can they not go for one day without Entertainment Tonight? These people freak me the hell out!

This is not a complete list by any means, but I feel better already!

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